STOP THE PRESS.
Just before going to press The Internet called and ask that we don’t run this article. ChatGPT doesn’t think you’re ready for the information. If you can still read this we have managed to resist. But maybe not for long. Take notes while you still can.
out:Researchers. Before the internet there was the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Before that there were great quests to find oracles to give you an answer. Now there is AI. Where nuance is required, there is likely to still be a role for poor humans, and currently large language models are generating hallucinations which need to be weeded out. But scientific research is already being done at the press of a button. During the pandemic, vaccines were created in computer generated trials that would have taken multiple times longer in human years. R&D is probably the biggest factor in the price of pharmaceuticals, so will we see the price of medicines come down? So far the extra profits have simply gone into the pockets of executives and shareholders, but eventually things will change. Being a pharmaceutical gazillionaire may also eventually be a job of the past.
in:Authenticators and Security Experts. It is already difficult to tell what’s real and what’s not, and helping industries and individuals keep themselves and their property safe from scammers and hackers and computer meltdowns will be big business. How someone or something is authenticated, when voices and faces and clothes tags and even holographic type security can be reproduced by a clever, and then an ordinary, AI is already giving experts sleepless nights. It’s going to involve the blockchain, crypto, quantum computing and nano technology, and probably never leaving your house or answering the phone. If you can get ahead of the game, either by being able to tell the difference between humans and computers, or good computers from bad computers, you’ll be onto a winner,
out:Intrepreters and translators. We’ve already got the apps and the speech recognition software. At the moment you might not do much more with the tech than send a scrambled voice- text message that leaves the person on the other end to work out what you actually meant, or you might speak to a taxi driver when you’re lost in a foreign country, but pretty soon the computers will be coming for your poetry and your love lives. It’ll likely be there is one translator where there are now many, for quality controls sake, but it’s hard to see how even that job will last long. Eventually the tech might even sidestep images and sounds and the translation will appear immediately in your brain. We’ll be able to experience more culture and talk to more people from around the world, leading to peace, love, empathy, and understanding, or just more people to have an really good argument with.
in:Token designers and Blockchain Experts. The Real Estate industry- where all great minds eventually end up- has already started providing ownership deeds to property which are not only signed digitally, but exist as a token on the blockchain. It’s the next step from buying a house you’ve never seen, which is surely the greatest ever arbiter of success. Designing and managing how things and their ownership exist digitally will be a big job in the future, and there won’t be much that doesn’t need a token. In fact, quite the opposite to now, a digital presence will seem more real and be more trusted than a physical one, and the backstory of things- where they have come from- will be easier to access.. When it’s done well there will be a lot of extra data attached to a purchase which can drive positive change. You could know exactly where and how your new bag was made and if there were any bad practices you would rather not give your money to. And whoever really understands what the blockchain actually is will definitely make a killing.
out:Drivers. Autonomous vehicles are on the way in, and will be safer and more efficient than not only driving yourself, but than other people driving you around too. With combustion engines going out of fashion, new vehicles that move you around in a private way will spring up, likely like pods that run on similar tracks to light rail, so we won’t need road builders and insanely expensive tunnel builders, or the local council backhanders either. AI will figure out all the logistics and vehicles will not only not crash, but be automatically parked out of the way, freeing up our streets and our sight-lines and the hours of our lives spent on parking. So parking inspectors and rangers will be on the way out as well- poor darlings. With much fewer accidents happening, insurance premiums will come down, and potentially people working in insurance might lose out, but fortunately for them they’ll be more danger afoot in things like getting on planes with increasing climate related turbulence, or trying to go on holiday to an island that is going to sink, or living anywhere where there’s air or sea or anything that could catch fire, so they should be alright.
in:Space Workers. Going out into Space will be a real job and ex- Uber drivers might find they want to ferry people around on Space Tourism voyages, or help guide people out to their new hot-desk on a satellite. Space cadets will suddenly become cool and all Trekkies will have their revenge as they’ve already got the outfits. This is even before we get into redirecting some of those out of work interpreters into communicating with aliens. There are whole industries blowing up around mining raw materials from space, including space junk, and making new materials out in zero- gravity conditions, such as optical fibres and even pharmaceuticals. Products like drugs behave differently back on Earth if they were made up there in the cosmos, so at least now you’ll know why your medicines are still so expensive. MADE IN SPACE will be the ultimate maker mark-up and drug dealers of a more street-kind will be peddling space-trip-very-magic-mushrooms, and for once they won’t be pulling your chain.
out:Bureaucratic Jobs and HR. It is predicted that most bureaucracy will be done using more and more sophisticated AI. Rather than get stuck trying to say what you want down the phone to a computer that doesn’t understand you, in the future it will already know your voice patterns before you’ve even dialled the number. In fact there might not be anything to call about, as queries and the more frequent errors will be able to be sorted out at the touch of a button. Even drawn out processes like planning permissions could be automated, and applying for visas may no longer require an expensive lawyer to simply fill out your paperwork. The whole HR industry will be massively shaken up, as recruitment uses tools more clever than any one manager, and the link between the management (which will also be AI) and the staff is better served by the friendly voice of an avatar, with unlimited time available to listen to complaints and gripes.
in:Change Management. You’ll be able to take your pick of change management scenarios and become an expert in any of them. You may well have to leave your house in the middle of the night because of a fire or a flood, and as discussed you’ll definitely be feeling change in the workplace, all of which experience you can bring into your slide presentation as you rebrand yourself as an expert. AI Change Management, Disaster Management. Climate Change Management. and for ex- HR folks, Unemployment/Re-Skilling Management. You may want to start making your own “GO” Bags, which are already a cosy Christmas gift in fire-prone areas, and can be stuffed full of whatever your next victim needs. The next step will be to run online courses in how to be an online change manager. Downside is no-one will invite you anywhere.
out:Dentistry. Tech already exists that maps your mouth and tells the dentist what your problems are. When it’s as simple as a clean, a hygienist will often do the work. It won’t be long before more complex procedures will be performed by robotics, leaving the dentist to only have to press “GO”. At some point someone else is going to want the money for that. Maybe even the hygienist?
in:AI and Quantum Lawyers. Who said the lawyers always win? Everyone. AI and quantum technology will be a bumpy ride involving breached privacy, ethical boundaries, responsibility and ownership, justice and democracy. Whether challenging the fundamental right to make a living, or the grounds for seeking divorce being your partner is having an affair with a robot, you’re going to need a specialist lawyer by your side.
out:Oil Barons. The writing is on the wall for the fossil fuel industries. The good news is a lot of oil and mineral rich places are also quite sunny, so it should be easy enough to shift across into other forms of energy and societal domination. Spare a thought for some of the Gas Barons who might not make it. It’s a lot harder to put a wind farm in the middle of the sea than it is to put some panels out in your private desert.
in:Solar Barons. The good news is the sun isn’t going anywhere. In fact as the planet warms, everyone collapses from heatstroke, and more things catch fire, we will be reminded of how much sunshine there is in our lives. The improvements we’ve been waiting for in battery technology are just around the corner, so welcome to the age of the new Sun Gods.
out:Chief Office Gossipers. Increased remote working will mean that nobody ever meets, let alone gets drunk together and has affairs. Trying to gossip with the people you already live with about things that they already know just won’t be the same, so the talkers will need to cling on to their sister role, The Office Christmas Party Organiser. This job will still exist for the foreseeable future, but will be renamed the RELIEF Officer. This Recognitional Experiential Live Identity Executive Facial officer, will carry a clipboard of photographs of employees, be in charge of working out who everyone is, and force all staff to be introduced to each other at the Christmas Party, or any other event they have the misfortune to have to attend. This executive will also be in charge of the RELIEF everyone feels when the whole Christmas thing gets cancelled.
in:Personal Data Brokerage. At the moment companies monetise the data collected about you, whether that’s your shopping habits, or where you’re thinking about going on holiday. In the future you will own your own data in your digital identity which will sit on the blockchain, so you can get paid directly for it. Want to get the best deal for letting a data mine know about your bathroom tiles, or maybe even how you’re planning to vote? Privacy might not be so important to people when they can be paid to let it all hang out, and roles will arise to negotiate the best deals, either for individuals or as large collectives with huge bargaining power. A perfect job for anyone who loves knowing what everyone else is up to. New prices will need to be calculated and set for data that at the moment can’t even be collected.
out:Graphic Designers and Web Developers. We’ve already seen extraordinary developments in software applications that are not only better and more intuitive than they used to be, but you no longer need a degree in design or development, three huge desktop monitors, and a uniform of 24/7 black t-shirts to use them. And despite what every graphic designer you’ve ever met will tell you. they are pretty good, and they’ve only just got started. The programme designers and developers, as if they’ve eaten off their own hands, have done such a good job, they’ve developed themselves right out of the door and into an unemployment office.
in:Panelists. Sitting on panels discussing the pros and cons of the changes happening all around us will take up a lot of peoples’ time. There will be a steady stream of books. This work can also include endless judging of whether something was created by a person or a computer, possibly as part of an awards process, or just on a personal blog. It might be hard to make any money from these activities, but it will make certain people feel better. A particularly good job for ex- graphic designers who have already spent years telling everyone how rubbish Canva is.
out:Climate Change Deniers. Even the most hardcore deniers will have to accept there’s something in this climate malarkey, once they’re living through a once-in-a-lifetime weather disaster every month, food doesn’t grow anymore, and their favourite shooting range in Florida is underwater. It’s fine- there will be plenty more things to find conspiracy theories about, as well as opportunities to turn unrealised guilt and fear and misunderstanding into uncontrollable rage. There will definitely be opportunites in the podcast space. See across.
in:Angry Podcasting. Panels and conferences aren’t your scene? Maybe you’re just not being invited anymore? AI taken your job? Maybe you’re shifting into a new conspiracy theory now that you’ve accepted that air is important for breathing and that the planet is getting hotter. Take your rantings in the kitchen to the next level and get yourself a pod. Find a like- minded community on the dark web and get them to tune in. Your audience will could be a mix of preppers, graphic designers and people who refuse to stop driving an SUV. $$$$$ await.
out:Doctors. A lot of what doctors and surgeons do now will be replaced. They will probably become more like advisors of which AI engineered drug people should go for, which companies they should trust, and which nano-spaceship-robot they should put inside their bodies. This is until people realise the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about and they’d be better off asking their phones.
in:AI and Anthropocene Therapists. See all of above. Some of the out- of- work doctors will do this job, even the dentists might have a go, trying to muscle out regular therapists by claiming to have more insight as they just lost their livelihoods, and surely all those degrees must count for something. At some point this job will also be done by AI, and the circle will be complete.
Any ideas about what is around the corner ? Leave your thoughts or insider knowledge in the comments below, especially if you are a Robot (or from Space).
